By now, we (or our kids at least) have seen videos, posts, and articles about living an “aesthetic” life. This could look like pastel colors and stunning sunlight, cottage witch living, or gothic library themes. They are all so visually appealing and fun. But then I look around me and see how far my real life is from the pretty pictures, and get sad. 

I started wondering: Is aiming for an aesthetic life worsening my depression? Or motivating me to achieve the life I want? If you’re anything like me, you’ve thought the same. I aim to examine what this is doing to our psyche. “Us” being middle-aged adults trying to… adult.

So first, let’s examine the kind of aesthetic living I’m talking about. I’m specifically referencing visual decor in homes. The light and pretty pastels, super-put-together and themed interior decor, including cottagecore, fairycore, and gothic dark academia. Just open Pinterest and you’ll see thousands of photos of “aesthetic” homes and living spaces full of wildly expensive decor. You may have to search a bit, but trust me, they are not hard to find. These are the lush and inviting spaces we dream of.

Disheartening? Considering the current economy (in the US), most of us cannot afford to simply hop up and redecorate our entire living spaces to match our preferred aesthetic. That is quite possibly thousands of dollars, depending on how large the space is. This is where one side comes in. The dejection that comes with knowing you will most likely never achieve the room of your dreams. I struggle with depression and anxiety pretty severely. And honestly, most of us are. Imagine scrolling past pictures of stunning homes you love, all the while knowing they can never be yours. I know some people shrug and say, “meh,” and most times I do. But sometimes it really gets to me. Like just being able to window shop and that’s it. See things you want constantly with no means to make that a reality. Not in the timeframe you want, anyway.

It makes me look around and see nothing but how far I am from the way I want to live. My home is cozy and lovely for our family of 5. I worked hard on it, despite having little experience with decorating. However, it’s mostly functional and not overly focused on appearance. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just pick a style and transfer the whole shebang to our room in one piece at once? A la Sims 4? Just me? Okay.

Do these pictures affect you the same way? Have you noticed this happening when scrolling? I can’t be the only one!

Helpful? On the other hand, this can also be extremely motivating. It’s kind of like dangling a carrot in front of a horse. You see a goal, something to strive towards. I can see things from this perspective as well. The furniture I want is just in sight. 

This is where vision boards and manifesting usually enter the chat. This can include saving and posting pictures of your dream spaces and looking at them every day. Remind yourself of your goals. That reading nook with a daybed in the corner. The beautiful bed set with matching nightstand. The plants and bamboo shelf decorations.

There are so many things to buy; therefore, there are so many things to strive for! A random Pin can be the kick in the pants you need. It can light a fire under you and be that extra push you need to be more productive, whatever that looks like for you. 

The thought of being motivated by material things is… grim. However, isn’t that why many of us work jobs we loathe? We work for those “material things.”

At the end of the day, clothes, food, and housing are all “material things”. And if that’s what helps you make more money, I will not judge. We’re all trying our best.

I’m normally a glass half-empty type of person. When I find myself spiraling down the rabbit hole of things I’ll never have, I focus on grounding breathing techniques. They really help to calm my mind. That, and reminding myself of all that I do have: a loving family, cozy home, and community.

It’s hard to write something like this and not come off as whining the whole time. Shoot, maybe I did. Oh well.

Anyway, it’s all up to you, as with most things. Let it push you, not hinder you.

XOXO, 

Sweet Potato